We Found Campaign 2020’s Worst Merch, From the Trump Babygro to the ‘Cup O’ Joe’ Biden Mug 1

On Wednesday, former New York mayor and Democratic candidate Michael Bloomberg tweeted, “We’ve got something in the shop for our #CAPitalist friends.” Like Trump’s infamous MAGA hat, this one looked like it was made in less than 20 seconds. The style lets everyone know you’re (a narc, and) “Not a Socialist.”

Look, I get that Bernie Sanders’ democratic socialism might be divisive for some people. But if your pitch is that the American capitalist system isn’t deeply broken, maybe don’t sell these ugly hats for $17.76. 

The look was promptly (and rightly) roasted, and the original tweet disappeared by midday. Suspiciously, the style is listed as sold out on Bloomberg’s website. Still, it’s unfair to criticize Bloomberg. All presidential campaign merchandise is usually pretty terrible.

After spending the afternoon in the unregulated hellhole of dad jokes and overeager copywriting that is each candidates’ online store, I believe this to be a non-partisan, unbiased statement.

Michael Bloomberg Shirt

“No More Gender Inequality!” speaketh the hot lady lips on Bloomberg’s T-shirt. But NDAs for all

Joe Biden Mug

No one has referred to coffee as “Joe” since approximately 1931. Sorry. 

Elizabeth Warren Koozie

Does Elizabeth Warren have a plan for how much beer I have to drink before “Big Structural Cheers” is funny? 

Bernie Sanders (feat. The Strokes) Poster

If this poster were a person, it would be a guy who keeps his Carhartt beanie on during sex. 

Pete Buttigieg Socks

Buttigieg is totally that guy who thinks socks are an “awesome!” birthday gift. No, Pete, they’ve always been boring.

Amy Klobuchar Sticker

Hello, Tom Perez? This hideous mixing of fonts on Klobuchar’s sticker should be disqualifying under DNC rules. 

Tom Steyer Bandana

Oh yeah, don’t forget about that dude who wears the tie onstage. 

Donald Trump Baby Lives Matter Onesie

A push for that crucial constituency, the under-24 months crowd.

Donald Trump T-shirt

Perfect for those days when the 2020 election makes you wish you lived in a galaxy far, far away